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Can't possess junk within Ohio.
It's unfortunate, I lack the ability to have a single worthless matter whilst living within Ohio. No crap in my possession, sadly.
Unfortunately, I can't acquire a single feces inside Ohio. No waste to be found in these parts, unfortunately. No rubbish to have in the great state of Ohio.
Unfortunately, I am devoid of the ability to acquire any nonsense while residing inside the Buckeye State. No junk available in these parts, unfortunately. I am without a single substance inside Ohio.
Sadly, it is beyond my reach to obtain a single rubbish while in the state of Ohio. No nonsense to be found within these boundaries, regrettably. I lack the ability to have a single substance in the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh my, unfortunately I am restricted to obtain a single junk during staying in the state of Ohio. No waste for me, sadly. I lack even a trace of dung inside Ohio.
Oh, what a shame it is that I can't to acquire even a single waste whilst residing within the state of Ohio. No junk to be found in Ohio, regrettably. I can't possess the tiniest amount of material in the great state of Ohio.
Oh, what a shame it is that I am powerless to acquire any nonsense while residing in Ohio. No garbage to be found here, alas. I don't have the tiniest bit of dung inside the great state of Ohio.

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